my hair is almost halfway covering my boobs
my days of wearing shirts will soon be over
the year is 1434
henry the blacksmith has a bit too much mead with his buddies and passes out
two months later he receives a message from the fair maiden jane in the next town over that says “what do you mean you wish to squeeze mine buttocks”
“oh my god,” he says, “i drunk carrier pigeoned her”
(via f0rt-frolic)
